The Thieves
by bompalynx
Summary: [Cats fic] The story of the most beloved thieves in the feline world. My view on the whole siblingmate mixup, Macavity, and other randomosities. Please R&R, as I can only get better with criticism.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Rumpelteazer giggled in delight. Excitement and adrenaline faded as she stood outside her home. Another raid was totally successful due to her._ And Mungo,_ Teazer reminded herself. She frowned and turned her beautiful head ever so slightly to study her mate. Something was wrong. Teazer realized that Mungo hadn't tried to quiet her, which he always did, because he thought her giggles were annoying and a half.

"Mungo, are you mad at me?" Teazer asked timidly. He blinked, as if breaking out of a distant troubled thought.

"Uh, no Teaz. We better get some sleep. You know, delivery in the morning." He padded into the lop-sided box. Teazer stared after him, wide-eyed._ Mungo…telling me to get some sleep?_ The calico queen shook her head. _He's tired… or something. It'll be okay in the morning. _Teazer followed the pre-occupied tom. He smiled at her reassuringly. She smiled back hesitantly. The day's work caught up with the queen suddenly, and she let go of her anxious thoughts, letting sleep fold around her.

Mungojerrie watched his mate relax into the distant dreamworld. He smiled when her tail twitched. Oh, how much he loved that queen. Fear washed over the tom as horrible murderous scenes flashed through his mind. Possible scenes. Scenes that could happen to Teaz; his Teaz. Losing her couldn't be… wouldn't be an option. _If I ever tell…,_ Mungo shook away the thought. He pushed it to the back of his mind, tying to lose it, knowing in a few hours it would poke at him again. And again. And every time it asked for attention, it'd get worse.

Mungo didn't know when he fell asleep, but it's impossible to dream without being asleep. For once in a week, his dream was frivolous. A dream of singing daisies and dancing clouds. The first dream that week that he could share with Teazer, that they could laugh at. A dream that for sure did not foretell the future.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

Mungojerrie looked around the trunk of the Forever Green Tree. Teazer slunk her almost identical self up behind him. Mungo turned to look seriously into her glowing golden eyes.

"Teaz, I mean it, don't get too close. You know I can handle it from here," Mungo held her gaze, trying to make it clear to stay put. _Oh, Heaviside, please make her listen. _Teazer cocked her head in question. Seeing her mates seriousness, Teazer nodded. Mungo let out a sigh of relief. He took Teazer's half of the diamonds. Giving her a brief nod, Mungo slunk away.

Mungo crept behind bushes and under the protective covering of dead braches. Teazer watched with anxiety, like she always did when Mungo went to deliver anything to Macavity. Macavity lived in a barrel many, many feet away from where Teazer crouched. There were so many things that could go wrong. The local hawk. The path. The monsters. Many cats, including Mungo's mother, had been snatched up by the huge bird. The path was where monsters raced each other, screaming and snorting. Black paws led them everywhere, and sometimes, when their mean yellow eyes closed, they stumbled off the path. Teazer cringed as memories of horrible screams and the murders commited by the monsters came to mind. That was why Teazer hadn't wanted to go with Mungo to deliver anything. In the beginning. Now, it was different.

Teazer knew she was afraid of the hawk, with good reason, but she hadn't seen it in a while. She knew she was quick enough to dodge around the monsters. They mostly stayed in one section of the path, and usually went in one direction. She also knew she would fell better if she could go with Mungo, to be another one to watch for danger, to make sure he'd be safe. It was no fun watching and not being allowed to say anything.

Teazer gripped the flaky bark of the Tree as Mungo approached the Roaring Path. Once, and if, he passed the path, all the dangers would be behind him. Mungo crouched at the edge of the path, flicking his ears and watching the monsters intently. Suddenly, he raced across the black surface of the path. A break in the race of colored beings was the safest time to run, as Mungo obviously knew. In a couple of seconds, he was across. Teazer let out a sigh as he raced to the Huge Brown Barrel. He hurdled himself into it, into Macavity's lair.

When Mungo disappeared from sight, Teazer's panicked view faded, opening her sight. It took a few milliseconds for her eyes to copy the pictures and send it to her brain, but when they did, Teazer froze and lowered herself to the ground.

Biting her lip and scanning the open grass for cover, the same phrase was playing over and over in her mind, reprimanding her. _Damn it, I did it again…damn it, I did it again…_Her ears were working double time. There was no way Teazer would let her guard down this time, not after the near death experience of last time. Like orange and white satellite dishes, Teazer's ears slowly swiveled, picking everything up. Her claws pulled her closer to the ground. Still scanning, Teazer processed every sound. _Grass, cricket, june bug, queen ant, hawk, dead leaves… HAWK!_ Fear flowed freely through her veins automatically. Teazer didn't hesitate. Keeping herself low to the ground and, bristling her fur, Teazer streaked through the grass. Fighting wouldn't work this time.

She ran towards the pile of dead branches, her tail whipping around behind her. It was amazing how fast the hawk caught up. Luckily, by the time the hawk was diving, Teaz was somersaulting under the branches. She immediately turned and flattened her ears to her head. Just as she'd expected, the hawk was reaching in with its talons. Teaz howled and hissed. Slashing and biting, she drove off the hawk. Cursing in a high-pitched slurred language, the hawk flew off to go terrorize some other innocent beast.

"Yeah, well, screw you too!" Teazer responded to the few offending words that she recognized. A loud screech floated from the clouds. Angered at the Hawkarian insult, Teazer screamed,

"No, you're the bitch!" even though she was sure the bird was male. Sniffing indignantly, she turned up her nose and walked tauntingly back to the Forever Green Tree. _Come and get me!_ Teazer sneered to herself, too afraid to actually yell it.

After the adrenaline had a chance to evanescence, Teazer could think. Once again, without knowing it, Teazer had followed Mungo. It was like her paws had minds of their own. After reprimanding her paws, Teazer started to clean herself (begrudgingly, since her paws were needed, and right about now she was mad at them). Thoughts of Mungo yelling at her kept popping into her head. He always saw her when she went past the tree. When had he not? Ok, almost always. Bust still, that wasn't the point. For once Teazer hoped Mungo hadn't noticed her. Definitely a first. Teazer started to bite her lip, a sure sign of anxiety among the Rumpelteazer breeds.

She was so intent on worrying, she didn't see Mungo appear in front of her. She jumped back in surprise, barely suppressing a startled mew. Mungo didn't seem to notice. His eyes were glowing and he pushed their pay up to Teazer. A large rooster, possibly larger than last weeks salmon, was stretched out limply. Happy with the earnings, Teazer purred deeply and rubbed her head against Mungo's. That was something she'd never tire of. Up to her death, she might lose interest in thieving, in pearls of even (Heaviside forbid!) in laughter. But never would Mungo be an issue. Ever.

On the way home, the cats had to go through a crowded alleyway. How else do thievish cats get home? Most of the cats there were thieves and bounty hunters, among other morbid things. They all lay lower in social status than Mungo and Teazer, so the groups rarely shared words. It wasn't like last generation, when the classes could talk decently to each other. Teazer was humming and doing an odd, attention grabbing dance frolic thing. Pausing a second to rub against Mungo affectionately. She was startled from her strange little world when a deep warning growl was emitted from somewhere inside Mungo's vocal chords. Instantly, her humming ceased. Teazer kept walking, but was staring at Mungo in confusion. He nodded slightly toward the glaring groups of rogues around them. Hurt and absolutely baffled, Teazer trudged through the disgusting alleyway, silent.

Mungo's heart sank with Teazer's head. He knew he had hurt her, but what else could he do? Hurt her or kill her? Gee, what a hard decision. Right now, he couldn't let her slip. So, the best way was to keep her from knowing. He himself couldn't slip. He'd have to find a way to get Teazer to trust him without telling her why. If only… if only she knew he was hurting her for love. She would understand. If anything ever happened to Teaz, he'd be a soul-less cat; dead to the world and living in memories.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Author's Note: If you can't tell, when I put down a dashed line(---- ), it's a change in views or much later than one paragraph change would lead you to believe. Like, if it's Mungo's view, then Teazer's. Or if it's in a basement then on the street. Yeah, I think you get it…

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The whole city was drenched. Everywhere a body went, the smell of growing mildew and general wetness reached their nose. It was one of those days when you are so thankful for electric heaters, ditches and leak-free roofs. But, when you are a street cat, the safest place to be is in some type of leaky, flooded, heater-free abandoned human settlement. After many hours, rain was still pouring into the city, re-drenching everything. Water ran out of gutters and mini rivers flowed down various Paths. Dozens of monsters had gone off their path and snubbed their nose or black paws. Puddles joined others, got to heavy, and began to flow.

As a bright red monster inched by, a kit flew into the street. To anyone watching, it would have seemed as if the monster spat the kit out angrily. But, no one was watching. The kit hit the side of the path hard and rolled a little bit. Instantly soaked and cold, the kit curled up and mewed pitifully. Monsters rolled by, splashing the kit with water. Most of them swerved to avoid it, but some were cruel and went over it. The kit just sat in a ball, occasionally going between the four paws of a monster. For what seemed like eternity in the pounding rain, the kit mewed and cried, in the middle of the street.

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A calico queen paced back and forth on the damp concrete floor of her shelter. She was now oblivious to the streams coming from the leaky roof, now that her kit was finally shutting up about not being dry. Her kit, a little tom, huddled in the driest corner. He watched his mom pathetically as she padded back and forth, from wall to wall. Yes, he was an older kit, just old enough to have a mate (which isn't old for a tom), but storms scare every cat.

"Where is he? We've got a kit to feed and I have the meeting…incompetent fool. Why? Why'd I get stuck with him? Why me…" the queen continued to mutter to herself. The tom was very confused, but knew not to ask questions. He knew Mama had a temper. His bottom was still sore from the last question he'd asked. As the tom listened, he got more and more confused. Didn't mama love Daddy? (And yes, he still called them Mama and Daddy). Didn't Mama love him? He wasn't "the kit". He had a name. Jeez.

No matter what excuse she brought to mind, the queen couldn't help but fell extremely worried. Not about her mate. The meeting. It was a really important one. She had to be there on time. But it would look horrible if she left her kit at home with a leaky roof and no food. No matter what, it was a lose-lose situation. Keeping the kits ears in mind, the queen barely suppressed her cursing.

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The tom being cursed was currently squinting through the rain and the water that poured off of his head and into his eyes. Luck was not with him today. Oh boy, would the missus be pissed. No food. Zip. But, what can you expect when it's raining oceans. Every sensible animal was inside, sleeping. _Why did I get stuck wither her?_ the tom wondered to himself. Thanks to that over-demanding mate of his, he was frickin cold and had to lower himself to hunting on a Path. A total last resort. No honorable tom was pushed around by his mate, or had to sit looking or Path-kill. The thought of eating squished and smelly Path-kill sickened the tom, but it was better than fighting in front of the kit. Anything to help that poor tom grow up halfway normal.

The orange tabby scanned the path, saw nothing, and walked farther along, stopping every other step to search. He repeated this pattern until he saw something furry on the other side of the Path, motionless.

FOOD! the tom's mind screamed. In an ecstatic frenzy, the tabby raced under the bellies of slow moving monsters. He reached the animal and sniffed cautiously. Through the water, monster blood and dirt smells, the tom couldn't figure out what kind of animal lay before him. It was obviously barely alive and all in one piece, which was a whole lot better than dead and all over the place.

The tom bent his head and picked up the animal. It unrolled, half in his mouth, revealing that it was a kit. The tom almost dropped it in surprise, but managed to keep control of his jaws. There was a lot of frantic thinking going on in the tom's head. Eventually, he decided that his mate wouldn't kill him, maybe just torture him endlessly, if he brought the kit home. Maybe, since it was pretty much dead, he could convince her to save it. Occupy her. Get her to shut up…

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"Barley! Oh, Barley!" the calico queen shot out of her dry corner when she saw the orange tabby slide in one of the windows.

"What took you so long? Look, I gotta go. Watch the kit." She didn't even notice Barley's package. He dropped the kit and spoke up.

"Bri. Get back here." Angry at Barley's demand, the calico turned abruptly.

"Barley!..."her gaze fell to the shivering kit.

"It's not food? What is wrong with you? You bring home…a…thing? This is not a charity joint!" Cambriana spat at Barley. Hot anger ran through her veins, flashing in her eyes. Barley flinched and sighed.

"Bri, I've searched for hours…"

"I know! I've only had to sit with the kit this whole time. I don't need this shit! I've got to go! So shut up and let me!" Cambriana snapped.

"Bri, you need to shut up! And don't you use that trash language in this household!" Cambriana's eyes widened. The little tom in the corner dropped his mouth. This was almost as good as the street fights.

"There isn't anything out there. And this kit was in the roaring Path. I thought you'd act like every normal queen and try to save it," Barley finished, venting his previous anger. Cambriana glared at him. Barley added softly,

"You're late anyway. Just stay home." Cambriana thought about it. Barley could totally read her thoughts, her face was so open. He could see when and why she agreed.

"Fine." Cambriana sat down and glared at Barley. He couldn't believe it. _She's doing it to look good at the next meeting _Barley fumed. Luckily, Cambriana's maternal instincts kicked in. She pulled the wet dirty mudball of a kit towards her. It shuddered and mewed pathetically.

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"Mama? What is it?" Cambriana's kit stuck his head under his mom's belly. Sure, he'd heard it was a kit, but what was it? Queen? Tom? Younger? Older? Street cat? House cat? There was a bajillion more categories. Cambriana moved over a bit so he could see better. He noticed how much smaller it was than him. It had to be only days old, compared to his almost full year.

"Mungojerrie! Gee whiz, be careful!" Cambriana warned when her tom poked the kit. Mungojerrie wrinkled his nose in distaste, then smiled when the kit turned it's tiny head to look at him. He gasped and fell back in surprise when the kits sightless eyes reached his. He gasped as his mom turned the kit around.

"Oh, poor baby!" she cooed when she saw the kit.

"What's wrong with it?" Mungojerrie asked timidly.

"Blind…" muttered Cambriana as she walked over and dragged the sleeping rags to where the kit was. Mungojerrie felt relieved. All kits were blind at some time or another.

Barley rolled his eyes at his wife's sudden change. He curled up where he was and fell asleep.

"So, it'll get better right?" Mungojerrie asked as he helped his mother wrap up the kitten. Cambriana raised an eyebrow.

"No, I said 'blind'. Like, forever. Blind. No see." Cambriana explained wearily, as if she was talking to an idiot. Mungojerrie immediately felt sorry for the kit. He then joined his mother in curling around the kit in a n attempt to keep it warm and hopefully get it through the night.

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Chi: You know, I hate letting you read this, cuz you'll say you like it, and you actually mean it. Odd. You must be high on crack or something. J/K!!! Luv ya!!!

Roman: Yup. I do that. Actually, I just capitalize anything that's important to the characters.

Jemima-luvah: I just felt like doing one down here for you... HI!!!


	4. Chapter 4

Mungojerrie groaned when a mew reached his ears. Usually he dragged himself up when a ray of sunlight hit his eyelids. But no. not today_. Stupid baby_ he grumbled to himself. He pulled himself up and padded to the mewing kit.

"Shut up." Mungojerrie whispered to the bawling kit. It blinked, then started squealing again.

"Ugh, was I this loud? There's no way in Heaviside!" He stomped off to go find his mom. What kind of mom left you in the same room as a kit? It was betrayal, treachery, blasphemy. Rolling his eyes and clenching his teeth, Mungojerrie stumbled over his mother in the doorway to the next room.

"Mama, I think it wants something." He prodded Cambriana. She glared at him with one golden eye.

"Five more minutes," she muttered and rolled over.

"Mama, it wants something now!" Mungojerrie said urgently. The kit raised its voice, proving his point.

"Fine, I'm coming, I'm coming," Cambriana muttered, exasperated. She stomped off angrily. Mungojerrie followed.

"What does it want?" Mungojerrie watched his mom pick up the kit by it's scruff.

"It's not an 'it'. It's a she. And she's hungry." Cambriana began to walk out of their shelter.

"A girl? Are you sure?" Mungojerrie asked, standing still and appalled. Cambriana turned and raised her left eyebrow.

"Yes, I am very sure." Mungojerrie dropped his jaw and watched with utter disgust as his mother walked out of the shelter.

_Of all the rotten luck! A girl! Gross_ then a sadder thought overcame Mungojerrie. _Now… Mama'll pay more attention to it. She's always wanted a girl. _Vowing to hate the new kit, Mungojerrie stomped off, out of the opposite entrance.

"Mungojerrie! Get in here right this moment!" Mungojerrie heard his mother yell. Yell for goodness sake. Why yell? He was sitting just outside the shelter.

"Queens," Mungojerrie muttered to himself as he walked into the shelter. His mother was growling to herself.

"Stupid toms. Holy chicken of the jellyfish farms, how dense do you get?" Mungojerrie felt like he'd been stabbed. Just because there was a queen kit didn't mean he was suddenly stupid. Golly. He was older for one thing. Which alone made him better. Just because this new kit could be heir to the throne didn't mean she knew anything. He actually knew stuff about the throne and being there. She might not even have it in her.

"There you are. Took you long enough. What do you think about me taking her to Lonrina?" Mungojerrie stared at her blankly. Lonrina? Why that witch? Unless…

"No!" He said a bit too loudly. Cambriana rolled her eyes. He didn't care. No way! She wasn't going to take her to get a Ceremony. _Not over my dead body!_

"Oh, well, not like your opinion matters. Thought maybe you'd say 'sure mom.'" Cambriana shrugged. Mungojerrie glared at hi mother, then glanced at the stupid kit in question. She looked utterly confused. _You deserve it, baby breath!_

"Mama, what if…she's not…allowed?" Mungojerrie crossed his claws _Please say 'oh darn, you're right. Too bad. Guess I'll have to get rid of her._' Cambriana sighed in exasperation.

"Mungojerrie, listen to me before you flip out. Lonrina can test her. If she's 'allowed', she'll get the ceremony, naming, become heir to the throne, blah blah." Cambriana said it in that way. The way that parents say that means 'yup, who gives a shit what you think, this is the way it's gonna be, so shut the hell up,' except they aren't really supposed to use that kind of language around their kits, so they've developed a tone that says it all. It kinda sucks.

Mungojerrie felt like his mother had pulled her earlier barb out and sprinkled lemon juice in the wound. The tom that came up with the idea that there should be queen rulers in thievery needed to die a horrible death. And if he was already dead, someone needed to bring him back to life and murder him miserably. Weren't toms supposed to be the superior gender?

Feeling utterly jipped and left out, Mungojerrie muttered a "yeah, yeah, whatever" or some other barely audible something or the other that meant the same thing. He wanted to leave. Now. But his mother had other ideas.

"Mungojerrie, I need you to watch her while I go ask Lonrina if it's okay. Or set up an appointment. Whatever. Anywho, you need to watch her." Cambriana turned to leave.

"No way!" Oops. Now Mungojerrie had a sore face. Gee whiz, did mothers know how to hit ya!

"You will do what I say, do you understand me?" Cambriana had one of those scary growls in her voice. Mungojerrie scooched away from his mother a bit.

"Yes ma'am."

"Thanks sweetheart." Cambriana kissed her tom on the nose. "Have fun."

Mungojerrie watched her go, glum. Then a wicked grin grew slowly on his face. He turned and looked at the kit thoughtfully.

"Hey baby breath…yeah you…hey, ya wanna play some games? Yeah? Really? Let's see, we got some choices… uh, lemme think. Rat poison, catnip, Monster Path, suffocation, strangulation, drowning…oh, yes, we're gonna have fun!"

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**Chi: Uh, I really see no reason to say anything but.. HI! And again, some insane dude from some randomosity of a place will possess your mind and tell you to tell me that my story is good. ?**

**Jemima-luvah: You have nothing to say about my spelling. I have one thing to say to you... incest...eeeeeeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww! That was gross and too far for even you! Oh, the Forever Green Tree is an Evergreen. WOW! Golly...**

**etcies: I'm doing one for you cuz I don't think I have before. Hi**


	5. Chapter 5

"Whatcha doin?" a gorgeous black queen kit stood across from the pond, looking anxious. Mungojerrie groaned. Tilly, the tailor's kitten, had to be the worst cat to show up. _How am I s'pposed to kill her if everyone keeps comin around?_ Tilly walked up beside Mungojerrie and sat down. The kit was on a floating stick, visibly frightened and shivering.

"I'm teaching her how to swim." This was Mungojerrie's fifth time saying this.

"You can swim?" Tilly asked, amazed. _How stupid do ya get?_ Tilly didn't ask him o prove it or anything like that. She automatically believed him.

"Yup." Tilly started rubbing all over Mungojerrie. He glanced around nervously. Last time Tilly did that, his mom popped around the corner and started yelling. Something about Tilly being a no good insert name for Pollicle female and what sounded like horror, but was obviously much worse.

"Wow, that's cool! Hey, guess what?" Tilly was under his paw now, grinning up at him. The position sent a shiver down Mungojerrie's spine, but he politely shoved her away. Queens were only a distraction.

"What?" Mungojerrie grumbled. He glanced at the kit. Darn, still there. He made a face at her.

"Lonrina told Mama last week that I could be next Empress. Well, as long as your Mama didn't find a better suited queen." Under Mungojerrie's fur, he paled. Oh boy. Tilly for a mate? Holy crapezius!

"Uh, that's great…"Mungojerrie muttered. But how was that possible? Lonrina had said that as long as no qualified queens came along, Mungojerrie was up for the throne. She'd announced this _after_ testing Tilly, among batrillions of other queen kits. Of course no one was happy. Even Mungojerrie's own mother was disappointed. Queens had been top-ruler for 500 or more years. Mungojerrie would be the first tom top-ruler in over 5 centuries. He'd gotten used to the idea. But Tilly could ruin it. He'd be second-ruler. Mungojerrie wanted to join he complaints that daily rained in on Lonrina (most about him).

"That spineless fraud!" Mungojerrie's outburst startled Tilly. She was leaning on him, her back to his right side. The tom found it very uncomfortable. And disturbing.

"What?" she looked up at him. Mungojerrie's nose was inches from hers. If he hadn't have been so grossed out, he might have seen her longing look. But, that's guys for ya.

"Uh, never mind." There was an awkward silence, then, 'Has Lonrina told _my_ mom yet?" Tilly shook he head.

"Why not?" Tilly settled farther into Mungojerrie. Mungojerrie felt off balance. He looked at the kit. She'd curled up into a tiny fluff ball. Now there wasn't going to be an accident unless Tilly left. _Man, queens ruin everything!_

"Lonrina said it didn't matter. Your mama'd have to find a queen in two months. Lonrina doesn't know of any pregnant queens that can have possible matches. Except one, but her litter died, so it doesn't matter. Isn't it great? When your mama reaches her 10th end of the seasons, we get to be on the throne!" Tilly sounded way too happy to Mungojerrie. He just kind of sat there, picking blades of grass that tickled his legs. _This is so not fair._ A thought struck Mungojerrie. If Mama had thought the kit had throne triats in her, she'd have suggested bringing her to Lonrina. Which she had. Sot here was a small glimmer of hope. Tilly was too old. With the kit as Empress, it'd be easy to fake an accident and be top-ruler.

Mungojerrie jumped up, shoving Tilly aside thoughtlessly. Ignoring her startled cries, he ran to the shore nearest the burdened stick and grabbed the kit. He dragged her across the rocky grasslands all the way home.

Through tears, Tilly spoke quietly.

"Mama, he doesn't like me. Not at all. He totally ignores me!" The queen's mother sighed. She furrowed her brow in deep thought. She zoned out o her daughters wails for a moment.

"He doesn't even pay attention, even when I'm right under his paws!..."

"I got it!" Tilly jumped when her mother exclaimed this.

"Uh…?"

"I know how we're getting you on the throne!"

"Mama, I don't want to be on the throne. I just want to be with him!"

"Now now dear, that's the wrong attitude! Look, this'll work because you've always wanted him, like _wanted _ him."

"But Mama! I'm too young!"

"Ah, but all toms can't resist. He'll take you, and you'll be forced to be up there! It's bomb proof!"

"Wait, what am I doing exactly?"


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Cambriana had been so pleased that Mungojerrie wanted the kit tested. She'd just gotten back from setting up a request. She had just happily picked up the kit, told Barley to watch 'the tom', and she was off. Barley left minutes after that, after reviewing the rules with his son. It was kind of a ritual between Barley and Mungojerrie. For every night Cambriana disappeared for her thronish nights, Barley left too. Mungojerrie always got the shelter to himself. Even though there was nothing to do, the responsibility kept Mungojerrie from complaining.

* * *

Outside the window, two black queens were whispering.

"Mama, he'll reject me!"

"He's a year younger than you. He's in that gangly stage and his mother's been babying him is whole life; he's a softie for pleasure."

"Wait, hold up. If he…"

"We can claim it his fault, you'll be on the throne within… 51 days. We're gonna WIN!"

"Mama…"

"GO!"

* * *

Mungojerrie was finishing his meal of grouse when a timid little knock came from the east side window frame.

"Uh, come in." Mungojerrie puffed himself up and lowered his voice, trying to sound like a full-grown, scary tom. When a black kit squirmed between the glass pane and the wooden sill, Mungojerrie deflated. He was alone, in the dark house, with Tilly. What could be worse? Oh yeah. He'd let her in.

"Hey." Tilly said quietly. She padded softly over and sat down in front of him. _Very_ close in front of him.

"Hello." Mungojerrie replied meekly. She didn't speak again for a minute. She was just gazing. And every being, from a mouse to a human to a zebra, finds it difficult to avoid a cat's stare. Oh, what green eyes she had. Mungojerrie had never noticed them before.

"I, uh, heard you were alone." Tilly broke their gaze with her words. It took Mungojerrie a minute to reply._ Alone… what's that? Holy matrimony, where am I? Oh, yeah… uh-oh, she's expecting a response… boy, she looks pretty in the dark…_

"Yeah. Alone." Mungojerrie managed to get the pathetic words out. Mungojerrie didn't even know when she had started to stroke his fur. He just knew it felt awfully good…

* * *

Mungojerrie was holding the queen and running his paws over her when he came to his senses. It was more the Pollicles outside that brought him back. _I hate this queen, what am I doing? I've got to stop…_ He was very aware of the consequences. If he took her body, he was doomed to her. Forever. And ever. But forever didn't seem to matter. Now did. The longest this could last was what, a night? Forever was a million trillion quadrupledrillion nights. Logic was running through the tom's head.

Mungojerrie pushed Tilly away. Queens are amazingly strong and ignorant. Tilly didn't even realize he was trying to get rid of her. She just pulled herself closer. They ell on the floor. The tom; to use the floor as leverage to get her away, the queen; to get comfortable. Tilly was trying to talk to him in one of those annoyingly tempting voices; obviously she wasn't getting what she wanted and was trying to convince him it was okay…

An hour later she was gone. As far as Mungojerrie knew, nothing had happened. He had fought and he had no idea if he had won. He had kinda gone all fuzzy for a minute or two… or more… But there was hope. What had made her leave? Oh yeah, the yelling of her little brother. And she had said 'maybe next time'.

Mungojerrie felt horrible. What he'd almost done… or had done… it would (or could) have left him in a moments ecstasy, then in years of pure torture. Fear and appallment seemed to take over him. _Screw hormones and becoming an adult!_ And of all the queens to fall victim to!


	7. Chapter 7

Barley and Cambriana arrived home within minutes of each other. Barley was a bit …tipsy. Cambriana was carrying the kit gently, but she has malice in her eyes. If she noticed anything wrong with either her kit or her mate, she didn't say anything. Cambriana just dropped the kit on her sleeping rags and stalked out of the room.

Mungojerrie's eyes fluttered open when the kit landed beside him. He focused on her. She didn't look any different than before. Did that mean…

"Shit!" Mungojerrie pulled himself up quickly. He stumbled after his mother. Barley was just falling asleep. When Mungojerrie flew past him, a pungent aroma, not unlike Human Liquor, stung his nose. Shaking his head in disgust, Mungojerrie tripped over his mother. She looked up at him and glared.

"Mama…" _Man, I gotta stop calling her that. Baby._ He knew better than to finish the question. She sighed and sat up.

"Lonrina said her 'secretary' didn't tell her of any appointment. Not me. Not anyone. For Heavisides' sake, I watched that queen record my request…" Cambriana's voice trailed off.

"Well, can't you just set up a new time?" Mungojerrie was worried. He had barely got out last night. Maybe not have even. What if he had to face every day like that?

Not that giving Tilly what she wanted would be bad…he just didn't want to live with that incurable maniac.

"Oh, yes," Cambriana said bitterly. "In two months. In two months the spirits would be ready to test another. How convenient. Just in time for me to come off the throne. That wrinkled old fraudy witch. She used to be believable. Fraudy, but believable…" Cambriana started muttering random phrases with odd obscenities that were rarely used in the same sentence. Mungojerrie sat quietly, letting her vent. Interfering in any slight way could be fatal.

"…you know, when you get on that throne, the first thing I want you to do is to get a new medicine cat. That old hag…" Cambriana trailed off as she realized what she'd said. "Uh, I mean…uh…_if_ you get on the throne…"she stuttered a bit more, then decided to shut up. Mungojerrie's hopes soared. If his mother said that, he had a chance. Everyone knew 'the throne' was the top-most rule. Only the top-most rulers could change former decisions; the mate could only be Royal Advisor. If there was no mate, the ruler would choose another advisor and had to keep their status of un-married (marriage was required instead of the usual Mate Agreements. It looked more Royal-like.) There wasn't rules against having concubines or the like. In fact, most un-married Royals had many, many concubines.

If the married Royal had kits (un-married weren't allowed to announce their kits birth), their first born was to be the top-most ruler (law installed by Sir Garin). If the top-most was a tom, the medicine had until the current rulers 10th season on the throne to find all the compatible queens possible. The tom had to choose one at his crowning. Everyone thought the picked ones were straight from the spirits. Mungojerrie felt that it was all a gyp. The medicine cats knew nothing of the spirits. He (having been raised by the same opinioned Cambriana) thought that the first medicine cat could see the spirits, and there may occasionally be the Talented to reach the position, but most were stupid fakies. It was all favorites. Of course, if the available were gorgeous and kept their mouth shut… heheh.

Sometimes, a medicine cat couldn't find any compatible mates. On these rare occasions, the tom rejoiced. Rule by themselves, harems galore… it was what every prospect tom wished for. When the ruler died, the spirits had to choose a new line of spirits. Any kits born a bastard to the tom wasn't to be offered as ruler, as the mother would be executed. Wahoo. Usually during the time of a single tom, cats all around were sucking up to the medicine cat. Wonder why…

Mungojerrie remembered something that needed to be told to his mom.

"Uh, Mom…" Cambriana glanced at him out of the corner of her eye.

"What?" Her voice was breaking with exhaustion and post-anger.

"Remember Tilly?"  
"The bitchy little black? Who wouldn't?"

"Well, um, her mom is finding a very effective ways of getting her onto the… throne." Mungojerrie's voices slid away until he could barley be heard. Cambriana sighed.

"I'm not even gonna ask. I can think of about…27… no, 32 ways for Tilly to still get on the throne, all but three of which would make me pissed at you, so I'm not _even_ gonna ask." Cambriana groaned. " I don't believe this. Two months. One day before you get onto the throne. We have one chance to get this right. Unless you're okay with Tilly." Mungojerrie's face made her grin. "I'm glad. I'd have to kill you if you fell for that whore. Oh, damn! Training doesn't start until after testing… we won't be able to train her! How's she gonna be any kind of ruler? Wow, Lonrina's really pushing her luck. She's got this sooo planned! She wants us to give up…" Cambriana's voice had switched to a mumble. "Well, we won't. She can't get her way. I'll threaten her with her life if she doesn't pass the kit. Mungojerrie, you're gonna have to train her like crazy." She wasn't even talking to him. She was acting like he wasn't there. And saying his name. Ordering. Not directing the speech to him. _Mothers_.

"Mungojerrie, are you paying attention?" Mungojerrie was startled. Yeah, since she was talking to him a minute ago…

"Hm?"

"I said that you're gonna have to do a watch on her, what with certain enemies that will be certain parents…"

"Like a bodyguard?"

"Sure. Whatever." She sighed and closed her eyes. _Shit._ Discussion ended. Mungojerrie stared at his mother, dumb-founded. He still hated the kit, but his hate now had a purpose. Keep her alive, get her on the throne, then…KILL HER!

* * *

The kit opened her eyes. No sun rays reached her brain, she processed nothing through the golden orbs. Not through the cloud. But she didn't know any other way. She'd only understood feeling, smell, hearing and taste. Her ears could tune into anything almost twice as fast and detailed as any other kit her age. Just now she'd heard that Kind Tom voice. And the Mad Queen. The Tired Tom wasn't speaking. As is usual with most blind babes, her word processing was slower. She had no idea how to speak, or even what to understand of the babble. She recognized voices.

The Kind Tom was padding over. Such a nice friend. Saving her from the huge wetness and any moments Mad Queen almost strangled her. Of course, she didn't know about any of Kind Tom's earlier attempts at strangulation.

"Hey, stupid little munchkin. Go to sleep. You need that beauty sleep awful bad. Holy cow, you are ugly." The kit purred. Such a sweet voice. Such a nice tom.

* * *

**A/N:** Hey guys. Sorry I haven't updated in a while, tho no one's complained so I know I'm not _that_ luved. Might be a week or two til I get the chapters up. Got Dual Credit and the Mid-Term exams comin up... just to let you guys know, college sucks and I don't think I was ready, as a Sophmore in-standing in HS. sigh

**Chi and Jemima/Macavity luvah:** Uhm, letters have stopped. Maybe you could send one... I'm gonna buy a phone card. I'll call you and tell you the number, so you guys can call me too. It's 10 dollars for 1000 minutes! It's gonna rock... Thnx for bein supportive. I pro'lly wouldn't have submitted this chapter if I knew you guys were about to kill me for Story Neglect.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N: Er... just realized this is friggin monsterous so I'll cut it down... ah! Found a place to chop it off. It's still long but too bad. HAHA!

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Chapter 8

"WHAT? How the hell does a tom _faint_ in the face of an orgasm? What is this world coming to?" Tilly's mother was shrieking. Tilly flinched and stayed silent. "Honey, we will find a way to get you up there. You still want to go on, right?"

"Yes." What else could she say?

"Good. Well, hold on, let me think for a little bit…" Tilly didn't have to sit long.

"Baymar!" Tilly's mother jumped up and began pacing. Tilly paled.

"Wh-what?" She stuttered.

"Oh, yes! That would work! Baymar does owe us for that time we bailed him out… this is perfect!"

"Mother… can I hear what I'm gonna do?" _Please don't let it be what he's best at...please no!_

"Oh…yeah. Okay, well, Mungojerrie doesn't remember what happened, right?"

_I hope not._ "Um, not to my knowledge."

"Good. So, we call Baymar over for a solid he owes us and break you. He won't even think twice. You keep telling Mungojerrie you guys had sex. We call rape, badda bing badda boom, you're on the throne." Tilly felt sick. So very sick.

"Mom, I don't want to do anything to make him mad…"

"Sweetie, he's about as careless as it gets. You'll be just another little game for him. You don't have to be embarrassed. Don't be a stupid baby."

_Not Baymar. Mungojerrie. I can't hurt Mungojerrie._

So Tilly ran out of the house.

* * *

Mungojerrie avoided contact with Tilly as much has possible. He followed the kit around for a whole week before Tilly got a hold of them. Cambriana wanted him to introduce her to the world. Get her to grow up. Maybe, if she started showing understanding of words, cheat on the training. They'd gone to the park. Met every cat on the way. Went to the Outer Market (Inner Market was off-limits without Cambriana). Explained bartering and how to tell a good fish from a bad fish, a fake gem from a real one. The kit had sniffed and purred. She didn't process a word. They'd gone to the Meeting Valley of Cambriana's people. Of course, it was in the day, as they weren't of age to go at night, with all who belonged to Cambriana. Now, they were back at the lake. A nice place for nothing to happen, not too far from home and for Mungojerrie to take a nap. It'd been a waste of a week.

It was a pretty, clear day, with a couple of those stringy clouds floating about, like they weren't sure whether they belonged or not. The kit, who would be nameless until her test, was playing with a butterfly. She'd turn toward the flutter of wings and pounce, miss and listen again. The butterfly had an easy advantage. If it got caught, Mungojerrie would probably choke on his tail and die. Quite impossible.

Mungojerrie was paying more attention to the back of his eyelids than to his charge. A snake could have strangled her and gulped her down and Mungojerrie wouldn't have noticed. Luckily, the only thing that popped up beside the kit was a familiar blackie.

Tilly watched the kit for a little bit, interested in how the little blind thing went about trying to eat the butterfly. It was cute, and pretty smart for having no sight. Mungojerrie gave her no credit, poor little thing. Tilly looked over at Mungojerrie, who hadn't yelled at her. She sighed and turned to the kit.

" HEY LITTLE KIT! HOW ARE YOU?" Mungojerrie was beside them in a second, furious. _Hehe_. Tilly feigned surprise.

" You stupid queen! She's blind, not deaf!" Tilly raised an eyebrow. _Gee, thanks. Never would have guessed. Thought they went together. _Mungojerrie placed himself between the frightened kit and what he considered to be her worst threat. Yeah right.

"Well, I'm sorry." Tilly said in all sincerity. Pouting, sullen, absolute sarcasm. Hehe again. The kit pushed her head under Mungojerrie's belly fur, sniffing at Tilly. Tilly was delighted.

" Aww, isn't she just adorable!" Mungojerrie stepped over her, letting her walk over, cautiously. Tilly did that high-pitched thing that queens do with a baby. It was disgusting. She cuddled around with it a bit. Not wanting to look like a he cared about any of the two queens, Mungojerrie went back to the lovely interior decoration of his eyelids. After a couple seconds, Tilly and the kit were running around, tripping over each other and giggling. Of course, his luck, the kit raced over his tail, claws extended.

"Aack! You frickin…" Mungojerrie whirled around, about to kill her. He had to restrain from strangling her when Tilly made a little _tch tch_ noise. The kit stared up at him, wide-eyed. "Dumb baby."

"Oh, honey." Tilly scooped the kit up and cradled her. Mungojerrie rolled his eyes, but just kept on glaring at her.

Tilly knew that Mungojerrie was watching her. She kinda made a show of playing with the kit. Cuddle this, coo that. He didn't stop watching her. Maybe, if she was lucky, he would be forever awed by her baby abilities. Then, because he was so interested in babies, he would fall deeply in love with her and they could run away to a distant land. It could happen.

After tickling the kits tummy, Tilly put her down. The kit was startled, but soon became distracted by an invisible bug. Tilly looked up at Mungojerrie, who was looking sour. He looked like he was about to say something, then bit it back. They kinda sat there for awhile. Tilly hated the silence.

"Uh, well, I guess the kit likes me…" Nothing from Sour-puss. "Well?"

"Well what? Do you want me to thank you for your amazing maternal skills? Ask how it's done? Beg for forgiveness from the Mighty Tilly for yelling at the kit?" Tilly bit her lip. Mungojerrie was right in her face.

"No, I…"

"Oh, I see. We're not talking about kits now are we? We're talking about the throne. Of course. That's all you've _ever_ wanted. Why don't you just leave me alone? Can't you take a hint? I _hate_ you! Got it? _Hate!_" Tilly's eyes filled with tears. Her bottom lip trembled threateningly. Maybe he didn't mean it. Maybe she still had a chance.

"Why…why…"

"My Lord, you're such a cry-baby. Why do I hate you? Your frickin annoying…"

"No. Why are you so mean?" She was sniffling, trying to wipe the tears away before they got anywhere.

"What?"

"Why are you so mean?"

" Why do you care, you stupid whore?" Tilly looked away, blinking over and over. He watched uncertainly, then added, "Besides, who cares about how the kit feels anyway?" Tilly gathered up her voice.

"Not the kit. Not just. To me. Well, that's wrong too. You too. Everyone." Tilly looked at him sadly, almost desperately. Mungojerrie's face softened and turned from hers. He didn't answer. He watched the kit mess with a leaf. Tilly touched his paw.

"Mungojerrie, please say something."

"Why? You're not worth talking to."

"Maybe I could be if you tried."

"No, you couldn't be. You're just a…a…selfish user." Tilly's eyes pooled again.

"Do you really think that?"

"I said it, didn't I?"

"Yeah…but…but…" Tilly's voice cracked and she looked down, trying to control herself. She couldn't cry. It could only get worse.

"Look at you, stupid baby. Haven't even grown out of crying. You're such a queen." Mungojerrie stung her heart. _Stupid baby. Mommy thinks so too._ Tilly looked at him miserably. Her face was wet and sticky looking.

"I _am_ a queen. Why can't you be a tom?"

"What?"

"Why don't you _care_ about anybody?" They both knew what she meant. _Why don't you care about _me?

"Just because I don't like you doesn't mean I'm not a tom. You're not the only queen out there! See! That's how selfish you are! If I don't like you, then I must be…"

"Selfish _I_ am? Look at you! All you care about is getting on the throne. Alone." She got a look of surprise. "I'm not stupid, you know." Another surprised look. "It's just how I was supposed to act. Like I didn't notice anything. But I do. I saw you trying to kill the kit at the pond. How could you? How _could_ you? An innocent little baby and you just attempt to dispose of it? Quit giving me that look. I _do_ know big words. But you wouldn't notice though, would you? You only pay attention to me if I'm stupid. Well, you know what? I'm not." Mungojerrie sat there, stunned. She was glaring at him now. He blinked, slowly.

"Well, it's not like I'm the only one trying for the throne, Miss Perfection. It's not like you've sat back to watch the race. Not only are you a selfish _user_, you're a liar and a cheat." Tilly took a deep breath, calming herself.

"No." It was a statement. Softly, murderously spoken. "No, I am _not_. You still don't see, do you? You're as blind as she is! I don't care about the throne or…or…the fame or the …the money or any of that. I cared about you." An awkward silence followed. Tilly added timidly, "I love you."

"Oh." There was a HUGE silence. I myself would have pulled out my hair with boredom during that time, but that's me. Anyone else coulda sat there and watched the kit chew on her elbow if they wanted.

"Well, I never woulda guessed by the way you were acting the other night."

"Oh. That. Oh." Blushing all around.

"About that…I…uh, I don't remember everything…all the way…exactly…" Tilly looked at him oddly. She knew she was supposed to tell him he screwed her. She knew how much trouble she'd get in if she didn't

"Well, gee, that's the thing. You… didn't exactly do what Mom said you were supposed to do. Hold on, don't freak out, I'll tell you about her in a minute. Anyway. You kinda…well…went…limpish." Tilly looked at the ground. Mungojerrie widened his eyes and his face burned furiously. Tilly continued. "I couldn't really do anything myself you know."

"No, I guess not."

"It's not like I wanted to."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Mom made me…"

"Bullshit! She didn't posses your body and drag you to my house!"

"No, but she still made me. It's hard to explain. She yelled at me a bit. And didn't talk. That was worse, I think. But, she told me I had to. I know it sounds goody-four-paws, but…do you understand?" Mungojerrie thought of Cambriana. Of Barley. The yelling. The silence. He understood.

"I just…I know…I didn't mean to…I didn't want to hurt you or…or make you mad." Tilly looked down, crying a real cry. She whispered again, "I didn't want to make you mad." Mungojerrie watched awkwardly, unsure of what to do. He watched her shake and sniffle. When he touched her shoulder, she looked up quickly.

"I guess I wanted to tell you, so you're not mad Not anymore. And…I'll go out of my way so you don't have to see me again. I understand." Mungojerrie didn't answer. Tilly closed her eyes and sat there. She stood up, turned to leave, hesitated, then twirled, planted a soft kiss on Mungojerrie's cheek, then stepped away.

Mungojerrie felt odd. Kinda indescribable. He grabbed her wrist roughly before she got anywhere. He turned her around slowly. Tilly was terrified. The kiss had thrown him over the edge and he would kill her now. It could happen. She flinched and closed her eyes, expecting to be hit, or at least yelled at. Nothing happened. She squinted open one eye. What she saw startled her into opening the other eye.

Mungojerrie's eyes searched her and his look unsettled her stomach. She had never been looked at like this. Mungojerrie watched her face, her beautiful black face. His hands softly found their way up to meet her jaw line. He rubbed it, following the curve to the hollows on the side of her neck. There his hands rested. His thumbs brushed her cheeks, causing her to suck in her breath. She put her own paw over his, holding it there.

Roughly, yet ever so softly, Mungojerrie pulled her to him. He followed with his mouth the path he'd made with his fingers. Then it rested on hers. He kissed her again and again. Then, for no reason at all, he held it.

Tilly was the one who ended up pulling away. Mostly because she was having issues breathing. Mungojerrie didn't protest. He just held her to his chest and traced little patterns on her back. She felt too odd for words. It was only a kiss. Only a frickin kiss. But he'd started it. He'd pushed it. That meant more than anything she'd had done to her before. She had that funny bubbly felling that zinged whenever his fingers fell lower. Tilly closed her eyes and purred. She was so incredibly happy.

Mungojerrie wasn't really feeling anything. Not bubbly. Not happy. More or less regretful. It was very embarrassing that he had flipped the other night. If a kiss with a nobody felt like this, then holy shit. Right now, it didn't particularly matter. He was holding a queen in his arms. Without anyone's permission. It was almost like he was breaking a rule. He'd break another one by kissing her again. So he did. He felt so in control. He got to make his own choice here. Even if only for a little bit.

Tilly didn't care why he couldn't get enough. All she knew was that he couldn't. He'd lift her up and toy with her. He'd kiss her nose and her cheeks and her chin. He'd kiss her eyelids. He'd nuzzle her neck and whisper in her ear. Tilly didn't mind. It was a game she got to be in. She got to be the other half. She played with the rules of the game. He whispered in her ear, she kissed his cheek. He'd kiss her eyelids, she'd nuzzle his neck. He'd make an odd face at that and she'd lean up and kiss his nose. It was a great game.

* * *

**A/N: Aloha dudes! Sorry I haven't updated in like...forever. I lost my disk, plus me and Porter are havin issues... Still. If someone could inform me that my style is still needed and loved around here, I swear (on my brother's soul) that I will update more often. **

**Chi: **My mother wants me to tell you: 'During this time, know that we all love you and miss you.' Woot for me, I remembered the whole thing almost exactelactely! Yayah! Not that it was all too long to remember...


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